On Teen Slasher Flicks
(Spoilers for 'The Faculty' and 'Disturbing Behavior')
By J. Dunbar
I'll admit it--I'm a geek. Of course I'm a geek. I'm a major
to this site, aren't I? And as a geek, I demand certain things from my
movies. I want good characterization, a good plot, and a climax that
doesn't disappoint. True, there are some movies that I enjoy that do NOT
offer these qualities, and such movies often fall into my "guilty
pleasures" list--under "mindless fun".
So, I went to see 'X-Men' with my parents the weekend it came out. I
didn't want to at first. I have a severe allergy to most superhero movies,
with only quirky films like 'Mystery Men' or the odd Tim Burton flick.
(1989's Batman. Although, the casting for the Joker really blew.) Anyhow,
I found this movie fantastic. Great characters, great message, and EYE
CANDY. I'll have to review this movie later.
But this is about teen slasher flicks. So I'm coming to my point.
Afterwards, my sister (HD) and I thought that we'd like to see the guy who
played Cyclops in another movie. We couldn't see the color of the actor's
eyes in X-Men, of course, since Scott Summers has that whole optic blast
problem. We rented 'Disturbing Behavior'. To round our movie fun off, we
also decided to rent 'The Faculty', since this movie not only featured
Famke Janssen (Jean Grey), but also Jon Stewart (Daily Show Host) and Bebe
Neuwirth (if you don't know who this is, you should be ashamed).
Out of these two movies, I would have to say that I was more amused by
Faculty. It was a stupid premise, but there was some talent in the movie
that promised at least a fun romp. I was vaguely amused by the whole fake
lesbian bit put on by the geek--and get this right, kiddos, she was a geek,
not a goth--and the fact that the dope dealer turned out to have Dexter's
Laboratory set up in his basement. I liked how the head jock decided
suddenly to quit the team, and I loved the poor little abused snothead.
Elijah Wood is made for being kicked around.
What really struck me about this movie, though, was that it was 'The
Breakfast Club' on serious narcotics. All of the archetypes are here.
We've got our princess (Delilah), our jock (Stan), our rebel (Zeke), our
nerd (Casey), and one weird girl (Stokely). The weird girl even goes as
far as to dare to look like her Breatfast Club counterpart. That's all we
need for our Hughes-esque tagteam....so I'm wondering why everyone thought
it was freaky when Marybeth turned out to be the Bugger Queen? (Okay, I'm
lending too much talent to the story. Ender's alien queen was much more
alien, and nowhere near as stereotypically nasty.) If this is indicative
of the best of the new genre of teen slasher movies, I'm rather glad that
I've stayed away.
Our second feature was 'Disturbing Behavior'...was that a movie? It
stupid. It's as if there were two different plots, and neither of them
were any good whatsoever. I did discover the color of James Marsden's
eyes. They're blue. A rather lovely blue. (What were you expecting?
Red?) Other than that--well, there was a stoner who was cool, but then he
wasn't, and what little plot there was fell apart, and I began to wish very
much that I was being mind-controlled too..because I wanted to see the end
of the movie to write this review, but I kept nodding off.
Unfortunately, the few minutes of sleep were more interesting than the
of the movie, which was setting up for some sort of sequel.
Heaven forbid. The last thing we need is more of this kind of schlock.