Bizarre. Disturbing. Damn fun!
by J. Dunbar

DISCLAIMER: This list is for people over the age of 18. So all of you chibigeeks? GO AWAY.

www.disturbingauctions.com -- This was once the lauded (by me, anyway) ebaytreasures.com, but they got told by ebay that there was some sort of copyright infringement or something. So...here we are. You always needed a boobie salt/pepper shaker, didn't you? Or maybe the naked beercan doll is more of your cup of..tea. No. I know. You're the kind of person who wants a postcard with a picture of a goat nursing a human baby. My personal favorite of the bunch is the SD Darth Maul windup toy. I believe that it is authentically Japanese. Kawaii. Kowai.

www.baiting.org -- I've done this before on IRC, I hate to tell you. My persona is usually a buxom little volleyball player with no brain. Usually, her name is Aurora or Mandi or something. Except, instead of a penis, she has hairy armpits. You would not BELIEVE the reactions I get to this revelation. Isn't having hair in your armpits a sign of female sexual maturity? As an addition, playing with religious freaks is always fun. The best reviews here are the ones by Sexbot. They're amazingly funny.

Rusty is a Homosexual -- This will be short. I read this and thought I was going to laugh my butt off. You read it. You'll see.

www.sissyfight.com -- VERY amusing shockwave game. Warning: I had seriously bad flashbacks to middle school playing this, and it seems that some of the players are really IN junior high. Remember, gentle geeklets, it is only a game. We get OUR revenge on the Vicki Thorntons of the world when they end up as Hooters girls and we end up rich. Sidenote: Aren't you supposed to be a c-cup to work at Hooters? Or do they let you in under that if you're especially easy?

ICQ Deception and Cruel Intentions in ICQ Chat -- Okay. Um. Dude? This is taking your whole jealous thing a little TOO far. If MY girlfriend was having an online affair--well, let's face it. MY girlfriend wouldn't be need online affairs and Mr. Buzzy to keep her going. The best thing about being a girl is that we buy our phalluses for size, shape, and color. Anyhow, this dude is sick. Maybe this should've been a deluded site.

The Penis Pillow -- Um. Look. It's thirty bucks. For a big penis. Can't most women find these for free in nightclubs?

www.manicmail.net -- Teeheehee. Send a friend a random email! Fun for the entire family. So, enjoy the net equivalent of a prank call. It helps release tension felt toward one's foes. Not that I have any foes. (eyes J. Andrews) Really. Honest.

Rainbows of Love and Happiness -- This is funny for all the wrong reasons. In fact, if I had found this site earlier, it would've been deluded. Goths can REALLY be ultrapathetic sometimes. Do these losers really think that by writing like a candyraver after inhaling a bag of pixystis that people really buy this schlock? Or worse, that they think it is ironic and tragically dark and gloomy. Oh. And one more thing. Leave the Muppets alone, you black-wearin' losers.

www.bradthegame.com It's a choose your own adventure, Wakulla County style! This game is VERY fun, and more than a little addictive. I dunno which ending I like best. I just like it. Have fun! By the way--could THIS be Michelle's ex-boyfriend Brad? ;)

Will Hertes Letters -- Ohmygod. I've LOVED this site for ages. This guy is a universal smartypants. I want to be like him when I grow up. I even wanna be a minister. What self respecting brat wouldn't?

www.mutantwatch.com The marketing GENIUS behind this site deserves a box of Godiva chocolates and a night alone with the star/starlet of choice. With the promise of much rompings and jollies. The sad thing is that this feels like a real, honest to Bob conservative website. Scary.