Flaming Geeks

C&C - Suteki na Hunkasaurus! Haruka's Downfall
By J. Andrews

This episode was entitled Driving Dangerously. Why? I have no clue. Oh, the monster of the day was a car, but since when were they actually dangerous? Anyway, in this episode we meet the alter-egos of the new Sailor Soldiers.

And their voices suck. But that's okay, I could live with that. There was no way they could get someone of Ogata Megumi's caliber. More heinous crimes than bad voices occurred in short order. In this episode, Mina and everyone's favorite Bunny (sorry, Yukito) meet Amara in an arcade and then proceed to follow him and his platonic friend Michelle around.

We learn that Amara -- Yes, Amara, such an androgynous name isn't it? Don't question for a minute, Mina, why your hunky guy has a name like Amara. Maybe he's Asian. -- We learn that Amara once had a dream to cross the finish line in a racecar. To win a race. That's all he wanted. But he's since given up that dream, because he's not good enough and he now has a new destiny.

Poor Amara. He can beat young girls at a racing game, but can't drive those puppies very well in real life. And he doesn't even have a girlfriend. While Mina and Serena are trying to get information out of both him and Michelle about their relationship, both Amara and Michelle flat-out tell them that they're not involved with each other. And then Amara proceeds to give Serena and Mina some tips on love and waiting for Prince Charming and some other garbage like that, I dunno.

In the original, by the way, Haruka is a famous racer. You'd think she'd be fairly good at it, since she's famous and all. Yes, she does have a new destiny, but she's still racing. And of course in the original, Haruka and Michiru were very vague about their relationship. And Haruka thought it great fun to be teasing Minako and Usagi who clearly had a crush on her. But TPTB (The Power That Be - On Crack) have gotten rid of any hint of lesbianism or hero worship on the part of anyone. And it gets worse in the next episode, but I'll keep you in suspense for now.

The monster of the day was rather silly and obnoxious in the original, but in this dub, we get to hear "VaROOOOOM!" and other sounds indicative of a three-year old playing with her Hot Wheels. But we're diverted from that by Michelle's excited exclamation, "Let's do it to it!"

I can hear Michiru fans groaning all over the continent.

You poor people. Worse things happen to her character in the next episode. Remember how Amara isn't 'good enough'? Well.. you don't think Michelle is any better, do you?

Their attacks also turned wimpy. Somehow. You'd think with the same background music, the same sound effects, the same graphics, that you couldn't really screw up the attacks. But CWI proves this theory wrong. "Uranus World Shaking!" "Neptune Deep Submerge!" Sorry, didn't cut it. The addition of their names and the talent of the voice actors just totally killed the power of their attacks.

So, hello Amara and Michelle. May you be happy seeking out your "pure heart crystal" or whatever it is you're looking for. You're total wusses now. We'll see what's in store for you during your flashback episode, and some of the end of the season episodes with spoilers I won't mention here. How much more screwed up can you get?

Oh, I forgot to mention. Mina's Hunkasaurus turned out to be a Hunksterette. Who knew?

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This page copyrighted June 15, 2000 to J. Andrews