{"id":426,"date":"2004-02-10T05:04:05","date_gmt":"2004-02-10T10:04:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/flaminggeeks.com\/k\/blog\/2004\/02\/10\/\/"},"modified":"2005-10-19T20:22:02","modified_gmt":"2005-10-20T00:22:02","slug":"give-me-money-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/flaminggeeks.com\/k\/blog\/2004\/02\/10\/give-me-money-people\/","title":{"rendered":"Give me money, people"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n

I am not careless with strong language. But fuck<\/a>, this woman needs to be captured and forcibly sterilized. She is too stupid to continue to exist in the gene pool.<\/p>\n

That was my first reaction upon hearing this.<\/p>\n

But now that I think about it, maybe she’s on to something. Suing McDonald’s for making people fat was not going far enough. We should now sue ANYONE who does ANYTHING that causes us the slightest bit of stress or trauma.<\/p>\n

Here is a preliminary list I have compiled:<\/p>\n

PETER JACKSON:
Damn. I had to wait 2 fricking years to see Return of the King!! I should not have had to do that, man. I want some compensation for my lengthy suffering.<\/p>\n

BILL BUCKNER:
This one needs no explanation.<\/p>\n

RICK BERMAN:
Let’s face it, folks. This man is responsible for MORE BOOBS on television than MTV could ever hope to be. It’s time to fork over the cash, Star Trek man.<\/p>\n

MARY KATE AND ASHLEY OLSEN:
Crap, how did these little pipsqueaks manage to become worth $100,000,000?! They are rich, and it annoys me. So they should have to make me rich to alleviate my irritation.<\/p>\n

BILL GATES:
Yesterday, Windows XP crashed and it really pissed me off. And two days before it did the exact same thing. Dammit, Bill! You are responsible for 10 minutes of inconvenience and trauma for me! What if I hadn’t saved a file! I get palpitations just thinking about it. You may deposit my settlement directly into my bank account.<\/p>\n

BOOBAH:
I don’t think this one needs any explanation either.<\/p>\n

I think we’re definitely on to something here. We could start a whole new industry.<\/p>\n

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I am not careless with strong language. But fuck, this woman needs to be captured and forcibly sterilized. She is too stupid to continue to exist in the gene pool. That was my first reaction upon hearing this. But now that I think about it, maybe she’s on to something. Suing McDonald’s for making people […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[17,5],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/flaminggeeks.com\/k\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/426"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/flaminggeeks.com\/k\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/flaminggeeks.com\/k\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flaminggeeks.com\/k\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flaminggeeks.com\/k\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=426"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/flaminggeeks.com\/k\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/426\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/flaminggeeks.com\/k\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=426"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flaminggeeks.com\/k\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=426"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flaminggeeks.com\/k\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=426"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}