{"id":368,"date":"2003-06-08T18:01:52","date_gmt":"2003-06-08T23:01:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/flaminggeeks.com\/k\/blog\/2003\/06\/08\/\/"},"modified":"2005-10-20T21:02:02","modified_gmt":"2005-10-21T01:02:02","slug":"whee-drama","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/flaminggeeks.com\/k\/blog\/2003\/06\/08\/whee-drama\/","title":{"rendered":"Whee, Drama"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n

For those of you not involved in the drama, you can safely ignore this.<\/p>\n

<begin comment>
Having been gone since Friday, I really must guess at most of what this is in reference to.<\/p>\n

But, perhaps stupidly, feel like some of it needs to be replied to.<\/p>\n

Friendship
To me, friendship is give and take, yes. It’s also people you trust to tell you when you’re acting like an ass, and whose opinion you respect enough to realize they’re right. But even though they said that, you know they like you anyway. It’s people you trust to want the best for you and for you to be happy. It’s people who will listen to you vent and realize that it \/is\/ venting, and that you probably don’t really mean half of what you say.<\/p>\n

Friendship is not people who will put up with endless crap forever. I would never expect that of someone, nor should anyone. That’s not friendship, it’s exploitation.<\/p>\n

Now, on to talking about people behind their back.<\/p>\n

I have thought about this a lot. There is, somewhere, the ideal that you’ve given: that you would never say anything to someone else that couldn’t immediately be repeated to the other person. It’s a nice ideal, but I’ve come to believe it’s a fantasy, myself. People may or may not talk about me. They may say things about me — “I can’t believe K asked such a dumb question!” “What the hell is she thinking about?”. Whatever. What would be served by saying it to my face? What is served by my angsting over these things that may or may not have been said?<\/p>\n

My parents were married for nearly 30 years before my dad died, and I firmly firmly believe that part of the reason they continued to get along well is because my mom — and I’m sure my dad — had a vent. Mom to me and her friends. Sometimes you just have to say to someone “I can’t \/believe\/ Don said he was going to fix the goddamn fence in the backyard, and now it looks like crap and it’s falling over! Grr! This is so typical of him!” My temper is like that most of the time: it flares up, and I need to bitch to someone. Then it’s done. The end.<\/p>\n

Think about how mad you’ve clearly been made by that email I sent you. That was to you. Would it have been better if I had vented to someone else and \/not\/ sent it?<\/p>\n

There is a difference between venting a fit of temper and engaging in a systematic effort to disparage someone behind their back. Perhaps you feel it is too fine a distinction to draw, but I don’t. I would not spread lies about someone. I would discuss with my other friends confusion I felt regarding someone’s behavior.<\/p>\n

Anyhow:
If you have dark secrets from me, it’s only because you chose not to tell me. I think you are a fun and interesting person, and for the eight years I’ve known you, I’ve considered you a friend.
<\/end comment><\/p>\n

That’s it for my comments on the drama. I’m done with it.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For those of you not involved in the drama, you can safely ignore this. <begin comment>Having been gone since Friday, I really must guess at most of what this is in reference to. But, perhaps stupidly, feel like some of it needs to be replied to. FriendshipTo me, friendship is give and take, yes. It’s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[17,5],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/flaminggeeks.com\/k\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/368"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/flaminggeeks.com\/k\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/flaminggeeks.com\/k\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flaminggeeks.com\/k\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flaminggeeks.com\/k\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=368"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/flaminggeeks.com\/k\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/368\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/flaminggeeks.com\/k\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=368"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flaminggeeks.com\/k\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=368"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flaminggeeks.com\/k\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=368"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}